A person with a magnetic personality seems to exert an almost irresistible force over others. He makes friends easily. He seems to have little difficulty in exercising leadership. He seems to draw people to himself.
In scientific terms, the opposite of
attraction is repulsion. And this occurs in terms of human relationships also.
Our problem is to learn to attract, not
to repel. There is a technique which can be developed in this matter of the
magnetic personality. A variety of factors are involved – both physical and
mental, outward and inward. But they are all matters within our power to deal
with, if we are really determined to be attractive, magnetic people.
The first step is to want to get on
with people, to wish to be at ease in their company. Once we have this initial
determination there are a number of precepts which call for attention.
1. Pay attention to personal appearance:
Appearance is not, of course the most
important factor. Yet dirty nails and yellow teeth, grubby skin and matted hair
can hardly be said to be attractive. It is not necessary to be a fashion model
in order to be physically attractive. But some attention to cleanliness and
dress is essential.
2. Remember that manners count too:
The underlying principle of good
manners is concern for other people – for their rights and their feelings. If
we care only for ourselves, the chances are that our behaviour will have something
of the repelling boor about it.
3. Speak attractively:
Some people seem to possess more
pleasing voices than others. If this seems a serious problem, it is always worthwhile taking
lessons in voice – production. But voice is not only a matter of technical know
– how; it is a reflection of our
personality. If we are bored, angry, impatient, self – centred, this shows in
our voice. Attention to the quality of
one’s voice, and to remove slovenly and ungrammatical speech can make yet
another step forward in the creation of a magnetic personality.
4. Avoid dullness and cultivate brightness:
The bored person will never attract
others. To show enthusiasm about something is to have at least a good chance of
arousing similar feelings in other people. Wide reading and interest can help
us to be at home on all kinds of occasions and with all sorts of people. They
find us immediately on their wave length, and this is something we all like to
5. Avoid self – pity:
One sure way to repel people is to
complain about our own burdens and problems. People deliberately avoid those
they know will inflict a tale of woe upon them. The kind of person who radiates
a magnetic personality is one who is always ready to help someone else who is in difficulties. It is the outward
look of sympathy and compassion which attracts.
People want to feel they count. If we can create
this condition for them, then we draw them to us in affection and confidence.
This leads to the last factor in the creation of a magnetic personality.
6. Cultivate understanding and sympathy with others:
Part of the art of an attractive
personality consists in recognizing how people differ, and acting accordingly.
For example, there are some people who can
take a joke – especially one at their own expense. They join hilariously and
genuinely in the laughter. But not everyone is like this.
How often do we really put ourselves
in another’s position, and look at things from their point of view? The measure
to which we can really feel with other people is very largely the measure of
our appeal to them.
To care for others, and for them to
know that we care, is probably the real basis of all genuine attractive