How to Become a Happy Person

Self importance is a really happy

We all want to be happy. When we are unhappy we are prone to think that we have been cheated out of some thing which should be ours by right. Our happiness, or lack or it, will depend on what we mean by happiness.

It can imply a life of ease and plenty with nothing ever going wrong. If you refuse to settle for anything else than this unrealistic notion, you are never likely to achieve it . We must face up to reality, to the hard fact that life  is basically insecure.


People change. The things we desire and work hard to get rarely have value. This applies not only in terms of hard cash but also in the degree of satisfaction we derive from them. We also change as much as life and other people. What satisfies us today may no longer content us tomorrow. We cannot be happy unless we recognize  the effect of our restlessness and discontent and keep it within reason.

Some people believe that in order to be happy it is necessary to fill our lives full and be overflowing with a host of activities. They say: “I simply do not understand  how anyone can be happy sitting down doing nothing. I must have something to do to fill every minute of the day”. They cannot control the compulsive urge to keep doing  things, keep moving, keep  talking, as though  there is something sinister and forbidding about quietness and silence. Of course, this gives us an opportunity to think. Sometimes this is unwelcome and when we keep busy and are out among people we can put it off.

A feature of a really happy person is his ability to be happy when he is on his own . He welcomes a chance to be quiet and relax and let the world go by. Of course, we should enjoy being with people. But not in the sense of being dependent  on them for our  happiness and peace of mind so that we become miserable if they happen to be thoughtless, moody or abrupt.

To be a really happy person you have to be able to take people as you find them, and let them come and go as they please. You have to be able to manage without people, to be emotionally  independent, able to stand on your own feet and capable of standing alone. We are not really happy unless we are good friends with ourselves and can enjoy our own company.

Real lasting happiness is not something you can buy like a package holiday in the sunshine. It is not something somebody else can give you, no matter how often you believe  you are in  love. Real true lasting  happiness  has to develop inside  you. It is nourished or starved  by what you really are, and by  what you are really seeking from life and other people.

Emotionally immature people gain an illusion of happiness when they have things all their own way, but they can never be given enough attention, interest and love, to satisfy them. People have to give  way all along the line to reassure them and keep them happy. They always put themselves first and everybody else a long way behind. Emotional immaturity is responsible for the break – up of many relationships.

If you want to be really happy, examine your attitude to other people, and what you want from them and from life as a whole, and to what is happening to you and around you. Make sure that you think and act like a mature responsible adult and not like a fretful child. If you are grownup in your attitude, you will be considerate, concerned with the effect your actions have on others. You will want to make other people happy even when  this means not always doing, or having, exactly what you want.

Happy people are outward looking. They are not obsessed with themselves and their self – importance. If you want to be really happy, you will encourage  yourself to be interested in other people  and things outside yourself. Happiness comes when  we forget  all about ourselves in our wish to share life with those  around us and make them happy!


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