Depression on Target

why do I hate myself

If  you are constantly depressed you should consult your doctor. He may be able to help more than you suppose. But do not stop at this. This is first aid for an emergency, not treatment for a cure.

What is depression? What are its causes? How can  you find freedom? These are the urgent questions that need an answer. Depression is basically – self – hate. “If that is so”, you may ask, “why do I hate myself”? The answer is simple. You hate yourself because you dare not hate the other person. Why is this? you are dependent on the very person you would otherwise hate. That is the reason.


Depression is a kind of conjuring trick enacted in the emotions. All the forces of aggression that go into your murderous hate a hate that you must  admit  even to yourself . As a result, you loathe and detest yourself.

In every one of us there is the central self ( the self of everyday life), by which we consciously make decisions. Beneath the surface of the mind two others selves operate. The hungry self demands its rights voraciously. The condemning self attacks the demands of the hungry self, and punishes it for its greed.  When the condemning self is in charge of the Personality depression occurs.

The condemning self is the voice of restrictive parent or parent substitute that has beaten the infant into submission. Consequently, the authority of the inner parent has become the ruling voice in the person’s character. The condemning self (the inner parent) is in control and so matter how urgently the hungry self seeks for fulfilment, life and love, the condemning self within makes such fulfilment clearly impossible. This breeds hate which cannot be expressed. Then agonies of depression result. Guilt, self – hate, remorse, hopelessness, all provide secret gratification for those who are not emotionally free. At the very extreme, very often a suicide is committed in a double ecstasy of self – hate and  self – pity.

Why does  depression persist even though circumstances change for the better? We are emotionally committed to our guilt and grief. This emotional pattern is “home” to us, and any other way of life seems strange. Is there a way out? Of course there is! But sometimes this is not acceptable to the depressive sufferer. A person in the clutches of depression insists on dictating his own way out, and his own way always carefully retains his depression pattern of emotions.

Psychotherapy offers reliable help. In the case of those for whom this is impossible, I give these indications. From experience I know they are of the utmost value.

The core of depression is self – hate. You are chained to the pattern of your infant past. Only if you are prepared to break emotionally from this pattern of self – condemnation within, can you become free. You must recognize the fight between the hungry self and the condemning self. Only when your central self unites with the hungry self can you gain supremacy over the condemning self and become free.

If you leave depression land you must decide where you are heading. You must know the nature and geography of the country of your new home. Think, feel, thrill to the thought of your adventure. Stop your indulgence in useless remorse. Accept your infinite potential! Enjoy being you! Make new experiments in living and defy the constricting condemnations of the out of date inner parent. Do this and you will surmount depression, and start a new era of happiness.


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